


Is there actually anything good being a king?

by Maikides_Anonpie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Dragons, Fantasy, Gen, Knights - Freeform, Monarchy, Naruto Fantasy Week, free him, naruto may or may not have a harem, ooc nagato, this kingdom is messed up, though he is just really tired, with hint of pstd from crappy civil war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25133644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maikides_Anonpie/pseuds/Maikides_Anonpie
Summary: When Nagato gained throne as his rightful birthright from his enemies all he wanted was to be a good kingSo why must his subjects make his work so much harder?
Kudos: 4





	Is there actually anything good being a king?

**Author's Note:**

> So last prompt inspired me to draw, then write. It's kind of crack but I'm not sure could you call it a humor. It's not perfect but I had my moments with it
> 
> enjoy

Nagato should have known something was up when former queen  Tsunade handed him the crown and said "Good luck" while laughing. 

It's been three years since he won against his enemies in civil war and became the new king. Nagato fought so hard, allied with some of the kingdom's most notorious dragons and knights, did things that he honestly wasn’t proud of and even gained the alias “Pain” from all of it. Only so he could get the back his rightful throne and protect it from his rivals that would have only brought destruction to the kingdom. 

And now all he wants to do is retire already. Or maybe get assassinated. 

* * *

You see, there's biweekly meetings with his advisors about the kingdom's conditions. But he soon realized that they were mostly meetings where everybody just complained to him what his military had done since last meeting. Or rather, what some individuals had done. 

He watched as his advisors Shikaku Nara, sir Onoki, Choza Akimichi and lady Samui arrived and hoped that this meeting was easy. Nagato had pulled an all-nighter while trying to make sense in some documents and after this he had still one meeting. His advisors settled down on their usual places while king also noticed that Shikaku’s son Shikamaru was with them. King could already guess one of this meeting’s topics, 

“Is everything ready Konan?” 

His loyal friend, bodyguard and secretary Konan just nodded while he looked at his advisors. 

“Let’s begin our meeting, is there anyone who wants to start?” 

Shikaku Nara, only person he could grab from Tsunade’s court to his own (others were more or less traitors) stepped forward “Your majesty, if I may-” 

"What did Hidan do this time?" 

Shikaku raised his eyebrow "My lord, I haven't mentioned sir Hidan-" 

"Your son is here and he comes only when he wants to complain about him. Well? What is it?" Shikamaru narrowed his eyes with little annoyance but then spoke. 

"We found him eating our deer again. And then he tried to eat knight Asuma Sarutobi when he attempted to stop him. I demand that guy to be locked up!" 

  
Nagato sighed, already feeling the headache coming. 

"Look, I know that sir Hidan can be...difficult to deal with. But we can't just lock him up. He's valuable member in our kingdom's defense" 

"Why? Just because he can grow a few extra heads?" 

"He's hydra, one of the rarest of dragons!" 

"And also the stupidest and honestly, is he actually a dragon? He can't even fly!" 

"Now now young Shikamaru, that's a little thoughtless comment. Am I and Chouji also not dragons to you since we can't fly?" Choza Akimichi, respected earth dragon frowned. Shikamaru actually looked a little bit ashamed after realizing what he said. Shikaku also looked disapproving while apologizing for his son’s behavior. Nagato just brushed it off. 

"It’s okay, I understand how valuable your deer are. And sir Sarutobi” he added after seeing Shikamaru’s face” I'll make sure that Hidan shall be punished. And I'll talk to Kakuzu to keep a better eye on him." 

"Oh, and there's another one that needs to pay for his crimes." Choza commented dryly. 

"Kakuzu? What did he do?" 

"He still hasn't returned valuable books and treasure that he stole while being an enemy. According to him, from the current law's point of view they are his property. People have complained me about it." 

Nagato rubbed his forehead. That stereotypically greedy dragon... 

“I will send sir Hoshigaki to confiscate his property until we can sort this out.” 

“And there’s another troublemaker” Konan sighed while watching the scroll of the meeting's topics. 

“And may I ask what did Kisame do?” Nagato wondered if there was a betting pool who could disturb the kingdom's peace the most. 

“Knight Kisame Hoshigaki challenged Sir Guy into a duel and caused quite collateral damage to the east side of the capital. And Sir Guy is blamed for traumatizing near village’s locals with his disturbing vision magic alongside with his student sir Lee” 

“Bur sir Guy doesn’t even use magic and neither does his student.” 

“I know your majesty; we are just as confused as you are” Konan was seemingly enjoying being just a spectator and watching him suffer. Oh, what a great friend she was. Maybe he should make her the next queen, then let’s see how much she would enjoy being in his place where everyone expects you to do something. And he would just laugh with glee while pushing more and more paperwork on her desk. 

“And next in our list is-” 

“Konan, I think I know who is the next one: Suigetsu Hōzuki?” 

“That’s...actually correct, he’s been caught from stealing army’s swords and hoarding them” 

“Inuzuka clan?” 

“Allowed their dogs to roam freely, came to town at the same time as local sheepherders, they are still trying to get some sheep down from trees.” 

"Killer Bee?" 

"Crashed into druids’ festival and tried to sing while forgetting that he was still in his true dragon form." 

"His brother?" 

"Tried to stop him but destroyed parts of the village in process" 

“Lady Tenten?” 

“Stole royal weapons for “testing” and then tried to steal sir Hōzuki’s stolen hoard.” 

"Sir Kakashi?" 

"Late as always. Wow, you are quite good at this your majesty" 

And the list just goes on. Of course Deidara had to blow something up. Sure Anko you can traumatize new troops. Of course it’s okay to start illegal fighting ring in castle’s basement. 

Why can’t his soldiers just...stay put and do nothing for a while? He already had work to do. They were still rebuilding, recovering from nasty civil war and trying to patch broken bonds. Why did they have the urge to add more paperwork for him? Maybe he should make a new holiday. Yes, _“Be a king for a day”_ -day. Then he would be one that goes around causing chaos and they have to deal with it. And paperwork, oh he would make sure that there was paperwork...   


"-And lastly worst of them all, Naruto...Uzumaki?" Konan finished with confused tone. 

"...Naruto, now you must be mistaken," Nagato said with first real confusion during that meeting. 

No way his protégé could be the worst. His kindhearted, hardheaded sunshine protégé who was both knight and dragon since _‘Being dragon is awesome, but I think knights are cool too!’_. Who did seem to find goodness in everything. Who was sent to battle with 100 soldiers and came back with 103 since he apparently made friends with them. 

"Unfortunately, there's no mistake, because these-" Samui spoke for the first time in meeting while putting huge pile of letters front of the king "-are demands and threats from nobles all over the kingdom that Naruto Uzumaki has to return all people he had kidnapped into his harem" 

........ 

"Excuse in what?" Nagato asked with a flat tone "Last time I checked my protege didn't have a harem. And I'm quite certain I didn’t raise him to be a kidnapper" 

"Well, your majesty better tell this to angry parents and nobles, since some of them are actually threatening us with withdrawing their support and starting a new civil war." Onoki, his oldest advisor commented dryly (he wasn’t the easiest person to deal with but he was better than other old geezers). 

Nagato leaned into his arm and turned his gaze to Konan “So, who did he _“kidnap”_ Konan?” 

“Hyuuga family’s heirless Hinata and her cousin Neji, Duke Uchiha’s second son Sasuke, royal chef Teuchi and his daughter Ayame-” some reason Nagato wasn't too surprised from that revelation. “-Blah blah blaa, Aburame clan’s heir Shino, they have also spotted court advisor Onoki’ granddaughter lady Kurotsuchi-” 

“Wait-my granddaughter too!?” Onoki yelled but Konan ignored it 

“-and Haku, sir Momochi’s protégé. All of them are reported to held in Naruto Uzumaki’s personal tower” Konan finished and folded the scroll. 

“Oh dear, I didn’t know that he was that type of dragon. Chouji always said that he’s good person” Choza commented with a worried expression. He then turned towards his king “Your majesty, what are we going to do?” Before Nagato could speak, Onoki stepped up angrily. 

“We should rescue victims immediately and make sure that Naruto Uzumaki shall be punished!” 

“No one punish my protégé before I get to talk to him about this!” Nagato said firmly. 

Onoki scoffed “Your majesty, this is serious crime! You can’t let your affections towards the boy affect your judgement. You should punish him just like you punished former advisors” 

Choza turned to look the oldest advisor “This isn’t the same situation; former advisors were traitors to the kingdom! Well except you Shikaku” He added to his old friend who just nodded as response. 

Onoki didn’t back down “That’s what you keep claiming to us, but it’s hard to believe...” 

_‘Oh no, not this again’_ Nagato thought while Shikaku’s face flashed in anger for the first time 

“They were reason we ended up having a civil war!” he yelled “Burning hundred years' worth of valuable records just to erase King Nagato’s birthright and trying to get Danzo to the throne! You know what would have happened if they had stayed in power sir Onoki.” 

Oldest advisor huffed. Civil war had been quite shameful for him since he originally sided with Danzo, so he was little in denial about issue. Usually it showed up in situations like these. Before he could say anything else, Samui spoke while keeping her usual calm. 

“People calm down, yelling won’t solve problems” 

  
"Um, may I have a word?" Shikamaru interrupted. While he couldn't stand Hidan, he was quite a close friend of Naruto. Older people in the room turned to look at him while he straightened his posture. 

"It's not like Naruto kidnapped them, they are quite willingly in his tower.” 

“And where did you come with such a conclusion?” Onoki asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Well, I was with Naruto when he helped one of them, lady Hinata I think. And she clung on Naruto’s tail screaming _“Take me with you”_ when we tried to leave. It was weird since she’s usually so quiet and well mannered. Her cousin sir Neji followed us and refused to leave. Same goes to sir Sasuke, though he said he won’t leave until he’s defeated Naruto in combat. And then Shino heard that people gathered in his tower and didn’t want to be left out and then it got pretty much out of hand. You know...I think Naruto actually has a harem. Huh, who would have guessed...But if you don’t believe me you can just go ask them." 

* * *

  


"Young lady, come down immediately!" 

"I can't grandpa! My girlfriend is in here!" 

"Well tell her to come down too!" 

"Sir Teuchi is making us dinner! We can’t miss it!” 

“Half of the kingdom thinks young Naruto kidnapped you, I thought so too! And your parents are worried sick about you!” 

“They just don’t want to admit that their kids enjoy living in dragon’s tower more than with them! And dad said it’s okay! Why don’t you join us grandpa? Teuchi’s food is amazing.” 

“For heaven’s sake girl! We don’t have time for this!” 

“Why didn’t you inform me about this?” Nagato asked Naruto while watching Kurotsuchi trying to convince Onoki to join for dinner. Naruto just shrugged his shoulders. 

“I don’t know, didn’t feel so important.” 

“Naruto there was change for new civil war” 

“Man, nobles are weird. One time I saw one challenge other into the duel because their hand touched his “ _Fair maiden_ ”. Why they just didn’t ask me if I kidnapped them? “Naruto said while laughing a little. 

Nagato felt headache coming up in full bloom. Maybe karma bit him harder than he thought. Naruto was technically noble too but Nagato really didn’t raise him like one (and neither did other people). And now he had protégé that understood noble customs as well as some feral dragon would (reason Hidan was never invited to the balls, he would probably see dance invitation as challenge to fight). He should really begin to start teaching Naruto to think before doing something. 

“I still need to punish you Naruto” 

“Aw come on! Lady Konan is already sending responses right? Everything’s going to be okay and uncle-Oh sorry I mean your majesty, I think you should get some rest. You look like you haven’t slept for a week” 

“You have to know consequences of your actions. But don’t worry, others will get theirs too” he added while pointing at Naruto’s tower. Onoki was still arguing about was it appropriate to have dinner in time like this. Then king continued “And as much I love to rest, I’m king and in times like these I can’t truly rest. I would need someone to take...over...” Nagato quieted down and then slowly turning to look at his protégé with smile spreading across his face. 

“W-why are you looking me like that?” Naruto asked, actually sounding nervous. 

“You know, I think it’s time to start train you to be my successor...” 

“Successor...? Hey w-wait a minute? Are you talking about me being the next king?!” 

“Yes, sounds wonderful doesn’t it...prince Naruto?” 

“Okay no! No! I’m knight of freedom uncle! Awesome dragon knight! I have seen what being ruler does to people! And I refuse to share that fate! Besides-!” Naruto was panicking of possible fate being tied to paperwork “I’m not even your son! How could I be the prince?!” 

“Well as Uzumakis we have the same royal blood running through our veins even if it’s only a little, I’m sure people accept you to be their prince.” Nagato grasped Naruto’s shoulder “And as your punishment and training you shall attend this evening’s meeting instead of me. I’m sure you’ll love to discuss about kingdom’s this year’s production of vegetables.” 

Naruto’s face paled. Without thinking he tore himself from king’s grip while starting to transform into his dragon form yelling “Sorrycan’tdothatthingstodo!!” 

It’s quite strange how his dragon form was so big compared to his human form but while Nagato yelled him to come back, Naruto just flew to sky faster than king had ever seen him. After wondering for a minute if he should follow him, Nagato let out a small chuckle. Then he started to plan possible doom for Naruto _‘Maybe I should hire lady Sakura to make sure that he can’t escape next time...’_

**Author's Note:**

> I wonder if I should tell more about this crazy kingdom, but now I only hope that you enjoyed reading Nagato's suffering. I'm not sure if my picture showed up (maybe it's for the best, sorry i'm really tired right now XD)  
> Also, is hydra dragon? Internet didn't seem to agree on topic


End file.
